Diabetes not only affects you physically but also psychologically. During my stay in hospital, I found myself asking and thinking about a lot of questions and being overwhelmed by the whole situation.
My first question and one I kept asking myself is .... WHY ME?
...Then HOW WILL I COPE?
...What: IF I CANNOT CHANGE?
After ... WHAT DO I CHANGE? DO I HAVE TO HAVE NEEDLES?
After thinking about this ... yes ... I felt very sorry for myself. I was down! Didn't want to talk about it ... but then when someone visited you would try to talk about anything else. After a bit of education, I knew it was going to be tablets.
then came the ANGER!!
I was angry ... at the situation, myself, and my behaviour that got me to where I am. Some people don't have a choice with diabetes, their pancreas doesn't produce the insulin they need. But with the combination of genetics (sorry Mum!) and poor choices ... I made myself diabetic.
The anger was more the fact that I can't get rid of it. You get a cold, you get over it! You get a sore ear, you get over it! The doctor had given me the diagnosis of Type 2 Diabetes - a chronic disease for the rest of my life!
So I swang between the two ... WHY ME? and ANGER!
After I had the time to sit down and process this in my head, my thinking changed and the anger disappeared ... My thinking changed from WHY ME to ... WHY NOT ME? I have given myself a challange ... and now I'M GOOD FOR IT!
In some way, I have to thank being diabetic! It has given me the chance to change my relationship with food. I don't need it to entertain me ... I don't need it to comfort me at different times ... I simply think of it as the fuel I need to get through the day. I only need my share of energy to get through my day .. and that's it!
Sounds easy ... Well I know from personal experience ... IT'S NOT! But you have to give it a try for YOU (MAINLY!) and for the ones close to you!
My 2 year diabetic anniversary is coming up ... but even today with all the progress, I have still two issues .... PORTIONS and CRAVINGS! Yes ... even diabetics get cravings!
With breakfast and lunch ... I'm good with my portions ... With dinner ... not so good! I will have 2 serves of dinner .. then an extra bit of dessert .. low fat of course ... so it's not what I'm eating ... it's all good .. it's how much .. A throw back to the days when I would eat until I was literally full!
Cravings ... Still to this day ... I have cravings. I can't be a saint all the time .. even though I try. Now, I think if I have a treat ... I will have it and enjoy it ... just for that time. I go to Sizzler .. and you would think that I wasn't diabetic as I hit the chocolate ice-cream. But that is all I have .. no extras .. oops did I mention I have 3 bowls! It is ok to say this is a treat ...and this will do me until the next time. Most times ... it does! PS .. after eating at Sizzler .. I tested 2 hours after ... 5.8 .. thank you! But you can't give into your cravings all the time .... At times, when I think ... yum ... BBQ potato chips ... I'm usually at the computer ... blogging .. so I will distract myself and go on and do something else and before I know .. what craving for BBQ Chips or it is too late to get them!
Enough Pyschological talk ...!